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Unseen Movie Review: An Open Letter to George Lucas

By Adam D. Feb 10, 2012, 14:40 GMT

3D version of the George Lucas directed sci-fi blockbuster "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace". It is the first of six "Star Wars" 3D conversions. The evil Trade Federation, led by Nute Gunray is planning to take over the peaceful world of Naboo. Jedi\'s Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to confront the leaders. But not everything goes to plan. The two Jedis escape, and along with their new ...more

Dear George,

I'm a fan. I really am. I can remember being a young kid going to see Star Wars Episode 4 and knowing that I had just witnessed history. There was a feeling that seeing A New Hope brought you. It was 1977 and we were years away from reality TV and internet porn (both also known for bringing you feelings), but when people left the theater there was a buzz that you don't find in lobbies anymore.

That feeling didn't exist when I saw The Phantom Menace. As much as we all wanted to re-experience our youth and share in a sense of wonderment that you tapped into in 1977, there was more of a dull thud when Episode 1 was over.

Now that you are re-releasing Episode 1 in 3D I worry that you will be tarnishing the Star Wars legacy all over again. There are only so many times you can go back to the same well. Ask The Who, how many farewell tours can you launch?

I remember when the logo for Lucasfilm was synonymous with being at the forefront of technology. How many documentaries have I seen where they explain how you created flying spaceships in Episode 4 because they hadn't existed before. With the exception of the Ewoks, you were doing things both story wise and visually that were blowing our minds. There wasn’t one boy under 10 who didn’t want their own lightsaber (unless they had already discovered cigarettes).

But now you're late to the 3D game. Not just late, but in the words of Kim Zolciak you are tardy for the party. When Clash of the Titans is out in 3D before your movie, you have not only missed the train but they shouldn't even accept your ticket anymore.

And didn't we see this coming? I remember 1999 like it was 13 years ago. The buzz was on the first new Star Wars film in 16 years. Episode 1 was coming and fans couldn't wait. But what was the movie that captured the imagination of geeks across the country? It was The Matrix. Episode 1 seemed pretty tame compared to the new ideas and visuals being thrown around by the Wachowskis.

Also, why are you re-releasing Episode 1 in 3D first? Shouldn't you be starting with Episode 4? The true fans will show up for anything Star Wars, but you will alienate the other people who will see Episode 1 in 3D and remember how bad it was compared to the original trilogy. Then they won't show up for Episode 2, which already sort of happened the first time you released them.

Don't you think it's time you left Star Wars alone? Between all the cartoons, merchandise and a second trilogy, you are ruining a legacy. Move on to something else. Try Red Tails2: Even Redder.

What I'm getting at is that real fans just don't think Episode 1 measures up. Episode 2 got a little better and Episode 3 was pretty good, but The Phantom Menace is just not a good film and not really worthy of having the words "Star" and "Wars" in its title. In much the same way that Khloe doesn't really deserve to be called a Kardashian. I mean, she's still married to Lamar Odom, that's not very Kardashian-like.

So George, I will be there opening weekend because it is a Star Wars movie and hopefully the pod race will look cool in 3D, but enough is enough already. Leave Star Wars alone, and move on to something else (and I don't mean another crappy Indiana Jones movie).

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