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Unseen Movie Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

By Rob Dixter Jun 27, 2011, 18:30 GMT

The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the Moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and learn its secrets, which could turn the tide in the Transformers\' final battle. ...more

The month of May usually brings the beginning of the summer movie season and in recent years it has been coming on harder than Ryan Cabrera on a freshman sorority girl. This year saw some big hitters with Pirates 4, Hangover 2 and Thor. But let’s be honest, the real summer blockbusters don’t arrive until it gets loud. Very loud. So loud Abe Vigoda is asking to turn down the volume.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is that loudness. The film is the third in the Michael Bay series. In the past I’ve written that Mike’s directing style is a lot like making out with Janice Dickinson, it’s messy, sloppy, and slightly minty. (Hey, at least I didn’t compare him to Hitler like Megan Fox.) The first two Transformers movies were so busy with movement and explosions I had ‘Nam flashbacks and I was raised in Canada.

Dark of the Moon was shot using 3D cameras and Bay has acknowledged that when using that technology you can’t move the camera as fast or the final effect is blurry. So I’ve started to think that maybe I won’t feel like I drank three Slush Puppies and then rode a monster roller coaster when I come out of the theater.

I’m actually kind of excited to see the new film, because I will say this about Bay’s movies. No matter how many holes you may find in the plot his movies always have massive budgets and he makes them look like every cent is up on the screen.

The other enticing aspect of Dark of the Moon is Shia LaBeouf. This kid has been proving himself as a real actor in a world of reality star celebrity. He has managed to juggle big budget blockbusters like Transformers with real dramas like Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Personally I think his work in the Transformers movies is great.

It’s very hard to make it seem like you’re always in danger or on the run. Shia is very good at keeping the pace of the movie moving along. When you’re shooting a 30 second take and have to do it multiple times you can lose track of the big picture pacing. Shia seems to do it effortlessly.

Aside from the dopey plots, the one thing I could do without in the Transformers movies is the silly humor they try to interject with Shia’s parents. Do we really need dumb comedy when the world is about to end and cars are turning into robots and fighting on top of pyramids?

I know the new film will have a plot that’s so dumb it will make Britney Spears sit up and say, “Hey, that story was dumb y’all.” But I also know the film will look like it cost twice its actual budget, will have great acting from Shia, and hopefully will look great in 3D with slowed down camera movements.

It will also be very big and very loud, and when it comes to summer movies I want to be kept awake after being outside all day drinking beer with the local crossing guards.

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