The Unseen Movie Review - Faster

By Robert Dixter Nov 25, 2010, 4:15 GMT

After 10 years in prison, Driver (Dwayne Johnson) has a singular focus – to avenge the murder of his brother during the botched robbery that led to his imprisonment. Now a free man with a deadly to-do list in hand, he’s finally on his mission…but with two men on his trail – veteran cop (Billy Bob Thornton) just days from retirement, and a young egocentric hitman (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) with a flair ...more

This week Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the only man in Hollywood who is actually proud to be named after an inanimate object will be starring in Faster. The first film clip I saw from this movie had Dwayne saying how he was going to get revenge on the people who killed his brother. After that I was so bored with the trailer and I had only been watching it for twelve seconds. Another by the book revenge movie? Really Dwayne? We need this like we need Sharon Stone taking her clothes off again or giving her opinion on anything.

If you think about it, Dwayne should have the market cornered on action movies at this point but he can’t seem to really launch himself. He has no competition in this department other than Jason Statham who is really too busy making movies where he delivers parcels for Fedex or something like that.

Many people see Dwayne as the second coming after Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone owned the eighties. If that’s the case, why hasn’t Dwayne looked to Arnold’s career to see how it’s done properly?

Arnold’s first high profile role (after showing up as Hercules and being billed as Arnold Strong) was in Bob Rafelson’s Stay Hungry. This would set off a motif in Arnold’s career. Say what you will about his acting, he mostly managed to work with really good directors. At this point in Arnold’s career he was still as unknown as Gisele Bundchen’s twin sister.

Dwayne on the other hand was welcomed into moviemaking with open arms as though he stopped by to pick up muffins on the way. He appeared in The Mummy Returns (in some of the worst CG since Joan Rivers’ face) as a way of setting up his vehicle for the following year called The Scorpion King.

Arnold would eventually land the role of Conan and began to get noticed, I guess running around in a loincloth will do that (see Bo Derek’s career minus the loincloth.) After the two Conan movies is where Arnold really made his name. He met James Cameron and was cast as The Terminator. This casting was luckier than meeting Lindsay Lohan at a bar after she’s had a good five or six drinks.

Dwayne would follow up his first starring vehicle with The Rundown, a typical comedic action film that isn’t sure whether it wants you to laugh or be thrilled.
It’s at this point that Dwayne should have looked back at Arnold’s career and taken notes. After The Terminator, Arnold starred in a bunch of action films like Commando, The Running Man and Predator. None of them would go on to win the Oscar for best picture, but they proved that the former Austrian bodybuilder was the action star of the decade.

Arnold’s eighties action films also worked for the times. If those movies were re-released today people would laugh at them harder than when Charlie Sheen said his Plaza Hotel experience was “overblown.” When Dwayne came out with rehashed action films like Walking Tall, people paid less attention than if Billy Joel got in another car accident. These movies had already been by Arnold in the eighties.

The one thing Dwayne did learn from Arnold was to branch out into comedies. On Arnold’s first trip across the aisle in Twins he worked with comedy guru Ivan Reitman (ya, the guy responsible for Ghostbusters, Meatballs and produced Animal House.) Dwayne made The Game Plan directed by Andy Fickman (yes, the guy responsible for She’s the Man.)

I will give Dwayne credit for taking a supporting role and playing completely against character in Be Cool opposite Vince Vaughn and then following that with smaller roles in Get Smart and The Other Guys, but now he’s returned to clichéd action with Faster.

After launching himself Arnold was working with top directors like Paul Verhoeven in Total Recall and James Cameron in True Lies. He certainly had missteps like Jingle All The Way and The 6th Day but he picked the right directors at the start of his career.

Dwayne needs to realize that if he keeps making junk he won’t get the starring roles anymore no matter how big his biceps are. He has to keep in mind that movies change, and Arnold’s action genre ran out of steam and he had to take a pay cut and get a job as the Governor of California.