During the weeks leading up to this year’s Oscars the buzz was all about the change the new producers were bringing to the show. We haven’t seen secrecy like this since the Coca Cola Company invented New Coke.
A handout photo provided by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science (AMPAS) shows US singer Beyonce Knowles (center) during the live ABC Telecast of the 81st Annual Academy Awards from the Kodak Theatre, in Hollywood, California, USA, 22 February 2009. EPA/Michael Yada / AMPAS
All the critics were talking about the ratings from last year and what would happen this year since The Dark Knight failed to get a Best Picture nomination. In its place was The Reader, which probably managed to turn off most of America since people just don’t like to read, let alone having to see a movie about it.
Signing Hugh Jackman as the host was a bold move as he’s not a stand up comic. But I thought Hugh really went for it and let himself have fun as the MC. He was pretty good with the jokes too and seemed comfortable and inviting. I would have preferred to see more jokes from him and less singing.
Imagine this was not the Oscars and someone came in and pitched a musical starring Hugh Jackman, Beyonce, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and Amanda Seyfried. They would be laughed out of the office and then told to join Julia Phillips since they would never work in that town again. That is the weirdest grouping of performers since 50 Cent was sharing scenes with DeNiro and Pacino in Righteous Kill.
At the end of the big performance Hugh declared the musical is back. I can see why he would make such a declaration, Mamma Mia made over half a billion dollars at the box office, Hairspray has a sequel in the works, and maybe that’s why the producers decided to get Baz to whip up a big musical number with top hats and canes. But if you think about it you know what’s back more than the musical? Comic book movies.
Dark Knight made over a billion dollars so why not get Batman to host next year’s Oscars, maybe he could trade jokes with Iron Man. Obviously the chances of this happening are about as likely as Lindsay Lohan ever doing another Disney movie (unless it’s teaching kids that it’s ok to experiment with the same sex in college) but the point is that I don’t really think audiences are sitting at home waiting to be entertained with a big lavish musical number. Those are the kind of performances people like to see in live theatre, where Hugh Jackman used to perform nightly on Broadway. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m tuning into the Oscars for the awards and the jokes, also if they could somehow rig a Janet Jackson moment with Salma Hayek that would be cool too.
Next up, the dead. Every year the Academy rolls out their “In Memoriam”. It’s a classy way of celebrating the work of those in the film industry who have died over the past year. I always thought that was the one part of the show that held a certain amount of dignity. Well, the producers managed to ruin that this year. The clips of the dead were fine. It was listening to Queen Latifah sing live over the film that bothered me. I kept thinking it was so awkward that one of those dead guys would wake up and tell Latifah to knock it off. I can just picture Latifah’s meetings with the producers weeks ago. She saunters in and exclaims she wants to do more than just present. They counter with “Well, we have two openings left. You can tear the tickets as people enter the theatre or you can sing a song as we roll the images of dead people on the screen”.
Latifah pauses, rubs her chin and looks up “Is Chuck Heston in the montage?”
“Yes”.
“I’ll do the song. You want me to whip up a little rap or something?”
“That’s ok, we’ll be in touch”.
When the show started last night I was thinking that bringing back 5 previous acting winners for every award would take a lot of time and put me to sleep before they even got to the Documentary Oscars. (I tend to drink a lot of Nyquil around 7pm just for kicks, and because I’m too cheap to buy Vodka.) I kept thinking if the producers were so worried about ratings why did they start the show with 5 old ladies talking to the nominees for 5 minutes.
Next year why not forgo Hollywood stars as presenters and get Hooters girls to give out the prizes? (They could even have wings on stage for the winners!) But towards the end of the show I was kind of digging the old winners stepping out and commending the nominees (especially when Alan Arkin called Best Supporting Nominee Seymour Philip Hoffman).
The funniest moment of the night came when DeNiro introduced Sean Penn. Just seeing Bob up on that stage made the whole evening worth it.
There are a lot of Monday morning quarterbacks after a big show like the Oscars but you have to give the producers credit, they kept it under 4 hours and unlike the 2004 Vibe Awards, no one was stabbed.
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