The Unseen Movie Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno

By Robert Dixter Oct 31, 2008, 19:05 GMT

Lifelong friends and roommates Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are facing hard times and a mountain of debt. When the electricity and plumbing get cut off, they seize upon the idea of making a homegrown porno movie for some quick cash, enlisting the help of their friends. The two vow that having sex will not ruin their friendship. But as filming begins, what started out as a business ...more

I remember walking into a theater to see Clerks back in 1994 and laughing so hard I could feel my pancreas riding up in my throat. 

The film looked like it was shot by my cousin Randy after knocking back three Jack Daniels Lynchburg Lemonades, black and white, static two shots, and no establishing shots.  But I kept laughing at every vulgar line as though laughs were a nickel and I laid down a twenty and told them I’d be here all day.  I like Kevin’s dialogue.  I know people say it doesn’t sound natural and nobody talks like that but that is what I like about it.  In the context of the View Askew universe it makes sense.  Once you buy into Kevin’s world you realize that everyone talks like that and it is perfectly acceptable.  It’s sort of a pseudo intellectual jargon peppered with F-bombs.  It sounds like the exact opposite of listening to George Bush speak.

After Clerks I was very excited to see what he would do next, and while Mallrats was a bomb at the box office there were some moments that made me laugh.  Of course I’ve also been known to laugh at old people falling down stairs so maybe my opinion doesn’t matter as much as say Pete Hammond’s (the film critic that LOVES every movie he reviews).

Smith kept coming back over the years with funny and filthy films until Jersey Girl.  When Jersey Girl was released I felt betrayed, then I felt weird, then I felt an odd wet sensation running down my leg, then I put down my tenth beer.  Kevin had grown up and made a sappy soft film that made me want to throw up on myself and then throw my whole body into the washing machine and set it on spin.  The film was not at all engaging and had zero laughs. 

Fortunately (or so I thought) he would return with Clerks 2.  But I was even more disappointed by Clerks 2 because of my expectations.  The film was all gross out jokes and no real characters like in the first one.  And did I really need that donkey at the end?

So while Smith has gone 0 for 2 in the last two films, he does look like he has a winner on his hands with Zack and Miri Make a Porno.  He rounded up the hottest comedic actor in Hollywood, Seth Rogen, to be his lead and he’s managed to create a scenario that has real comedic promise.  Two friends in need of cash decide to make a porno.  I’m laughing already (and I’m writing this while at a funeral). 

Porn is always funny because it makes the watcher feel so awkward.  I’m hoping the film pulls in some real box office dollars and shows that Smith can make films that can gross real money and not just his usual thirty million (although his budgets are so low that he’ll always turn a profit).  If any director is going to talk about porn in films as opposed to shooting porn, it should be Smith and his potty mouthed scripts. 

So sign me up for opening weekend but I’ll have to tell the missus that the film is called Zack and Miri because convincing her to see a film with the word “porno” in the title let alone a movie where they say they are going to actually make one might be difficult.