The Unseen Movie Review: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Movies Features

By Robert Dixter Jun 5, 2008, 19:10 GMT

Adam Sandler is kind of like Cher’s wardrobe. No matter what the critics say he keeps coming back for more. If you look at his box office performance it doesn’t matter what they say because he always makes money, and in Hollywood good reviews don’t give you respect and power (sorry Paul Thomas Anderson), box office dominance does.

A lot of people have dismissed Sandler’s films as silly and stupid and aimed at 14 year old boys with too much acne and a changing voice that would scare away even Harvey Fierstein, but I have to admit I get a chuckle out of his movies. The stories are usually non existent but every once in a while there will be a laugh out loud moment similar to watching Britney trying to navigate the freeway. Then I saw Click. This had to be the worst, most un-funny, so called comedy of the last 20 years. The first two thirds of the film were supposed to be the funny parts and they more boring than listening to Laurence Fishburne talk about his “method”. The last third was supposed to tug at your heart strings and it was more painful than listening to Laurence Fishburne discuss proper beard trimming etiquette. I thought Sandler had outgrown his audience. We all know that when Hollywood stars have kids they re-examine their lives and usually try to do a computer animated kids flick so they have something to show their children (even Ron Jeremy). But Click still made money proving once again that Sandler’s audience was more interested in poop jokes than quality cinema.Last year Sandler really put his surefire box office past to the test when he made I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The film was seen as homophobic by many and the advance buzz was that the movie was both insulting and not funny. Luckily for Adam most of his audience doesn’t read film reviews or can’t read film reviews, either way Chuck and Larry opened to good numbers and went on to gross over $100 million.Most of the time Sandler walks through his movies without much effort. He doesn’t really play a character, he just plays himself and exchanges his sweatpants for a pair of jeans. He’s the cool guy who is always quick with a so-called witty comment and impresses the girl with his honesty and tenderness. He’s the grown man who behaves like a teenager and gets away with it because people (in the movie) think he’s funny. In his new movie You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Sandler does play a real character other than himself (a Mossad agent). He hasn’t really done this since The Waterboy (which I found to be somewhat funny). Now when I say character, let’s not get confused. Sandler isn’t channeling Daniel Day Lewis and going all method on us, he’s just playing someone other than Adam Sandler.Zohan also has the honor of having been written by Sandler along with Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow. Hollywood seems to be more in love with Apatow right now more than it is with itself. But aside from the films he actually directs, the ones he produces and writes are not nearly as funny. Did you laugh once during Walk Hard? Me neither. Did you even see Drillbit Taylor? Me neither. Smigel on the other hand has been consistently funny with his animated pieces on Saturday Night Live, but those usually have heavy political humor and are probably too sophisticated for Sandler’s true audience.There is a small reason to see Zohan and his name is Nick Swardson. Remember the guy who stalks Jon Heder’s character in Blades of Glory? Ya, the funny guy? The guy that made you laugh every time he showed up on screen? That’s Nick Swardson. In my opinion he stole Blades of Glory from Will Ferrell (Heder really is still coasting on his Napoleon Dynamite fumes). It is easier to be a supporting character in a comedy, because you get in, make people laugh, and get out, but Nick does it so well that he makes me want to see Zohan even if he’s only in it for a brief amount of time. On the other hand, the film (like most Sandler movies) also stars Rob Schneider who I think is not only not funny in his own movies but manages to drag down his friend’s movies too. Do I really need to see him show up and say “You can do it!” one more time. That catch phrase has less steam than Mr. T’s “I pity the fool!”. Schneider should spend more time working on his hairline and leave his friend’s movies alone.