By Robert Dixter Jul 17, 2005, 22:37 GMT
A job, a wife, a baby and no free time. I haven’t seen the films but based on what I’ve heard and know, we’ll see if the movie is worth it. It’s the UNSEEN MOVIE REVIEW.
If he thought it would look cool I’m pretty sure Michael Bay would attach explosives to kittens and film it. Watch thirty seconds of the trailer to The Island and it looks like Bay has destroyed half of Los Angeles (after destroying half of Miami in Bad Boys 2 he’s running out of American cities that need exploding). It seems sad since as I understand it, the concept behind The Island is quite original and inventive. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson live in a futuristic world where people are selected in a lottery to go to paradise known as the island. They soon discover the island is not what they thought it was and more importantly they are not who they think they are, kind of like waking up in a stranger place after a bender in college. Then Michael Bay destroys cars, buildings, streets, and probably a few puppies. Can he direct action? Sure, but why does he have to go so over the top. It strikes me as something similar to watching Hulk Hogan after drinking 3 liters of Jolt Cola. Mike loses control of his story (and in the case of The Island he finally found a good one) and ultimately loses control of the film since it looks like a big fireball. Armageddon, Bad Boys, The Rock and Bad Boys 2 were all dumb films with little plot and big explosions. The Island finally seems like Bay was invited to make a real film and looks like he couldn’t hold back those Beavis and Butthead urges to set things on fire so he messed it up. There’s a great story about Spielberg that they’re using to sell the film and it’s not the one about Steven wearing women’s delicates around the house. It seems Spielberg called Bay and told him he had a script he wanted him to read right away, and then Bay read and signed on to The Island. I’m pretty sure Steve was hoping Bay would make something a little more clever and creepy like War of the Worlds than setting off TNT all over Los Angeles.
If you don’t have ear plugs for The Island you might want to try The Bad News Bears with Billy Bob Thornton. You heard it here first folks, Billy Bob is the most underrated actor working today (actually I think he has today off and is at the spa or shooting tin cans in his backyard). He can take over any role in any film no matter how dumb the film may be (Armageddon again) and give a great performance. The other reason to line up for this film is that it was written by the guys who did Bad Santa. I have not laughed in a movie theater the way I laughed at Bad Santa since I saw Catwoman. I will see any film these guys work on, in fact if they said Bad News Bears was written by the guys who did Bad San and left off the TA that would still be enough for me to see this movie. But keep in mind Bad Santa was rated R and rightfully so (remember that dressing room scene?) and Bad News Bears is PG-13 so it will be interesting to see of these guys can write for a younger crowd too. Now I’ve already said I am going to see this film for the above reasons but I’d like to make a quick point and I’m hoping all you studio execs are listening, STOP REMAKING OLD MOVIES! There needs to at least one original idea floating around Hollywood and if there isn’t then go turn a book or a comic into a film. Have you ever noticed that nobody remakes old bad movies? That would be a clever idea, trying to make a bad movie better. There’s no reason to take good movies and redo them, it’s simply silly. It’s like taking great music and putting new lyrics over them and then calling it rap. Is it just me or has the entire entertainment industry become lazy? And the sad thing is we’re buying it. The only thing that drives me crazier than remaking old films, or people who shower with bathing suits on, is when producers remake an old film but say it’s not a remake (I’m talking to you Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). That said I’ll still be in line to see Bad News Bears from the writers of Bad Santa because any movie about drunks coaching kids baseball seems somewhat semi-autobiographical to me.
You can find out more about The Island and The Bad News Bears in these links.
Watch out for full site reviews next week.
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