The Unseen Movie Review: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & The Wedding Crashers

A job, a wife, a baby and no free time. I haven’t seen the films but based on what I’ve heard and know, we’ll see if the movie is worth it. It’s the UNSEEN MOVIE REVIEW.I hate to disappoint the Tim Burton fans, (I believe there’s a whole club that worships his hair or at least tries to brush it) but I’m not really excited for his take on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Tim always makes interesting films. “Interesting” is an adjective used to say something nice when there really isn’t anything positive to say. Like, Wow honey that tuna casserole sure has an interesting taste. Looking back on all of Tim’s films they always look amazing, his visuals are incredible, remember Gotham City in Batman? But they always fall short of being great films. Kind of like watching Greg Louganis hitting his head on the diving board at the Olympics. Casting Johnny Depp is his smartest move. Depp reminds me of Russell Crowe, they’re both able to completely envelope a roll and become that character, and they both can hit bellmen with telephones from 200 yards. It’s great to see Johnny finally getting the money and box office success he so richly deserves after so many great performances. He held his own with Al Pacino in Donnie Brasco, he stole Pirates of the Caribbean, and he made selling drugs cool in Blow. Just kidding, drugs are not cool so stay in school really you’ll never need math when you grow up. With so many things working for him I keep expecting Burton to hit one out of the park but he never seems to do it. His story falls apart and rambles on like Big Fish or the whole thing gets silly like Planet of the Apes. Still, he has Depp and those great visuals, it might be worth putting down 10 bucks and taking another chance on Tim, I just hope it’s not interesting.One film I will definitely be seeing this weekend is Wedding Crashers. There’s a new group in Hollywood of funny guys who like to pair up for films, think of it like a modern Rat Pack with more humor, and less drinking and murders. Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and sometimes Luke Wilson although he clearly is not up to par with the rest and reminds me of Jordan Knight in New Kids on the Block, sure he can dance but do you really want to hear him sing? Any time two or more of these guys get together for a movie, I’ll lay down my money opening weekend. When these guys go solo however count me out. They really need that second body to riff off of. Some call it comic jazz, I call it Comic Jazz too but I put caps on it. Along Came Polly is a definite pass but Starsky and Hutch (although somewhat disappointing), Anchorman and Old School were must sees. Here’s the other reason to see Wedding Crashers, it is rated R. And rated R for what I’m hoping is funny, not rated R like American Wedding for stupidity and just a bad excuse for nudity and cursing. You got give them credit for releasing a funny film that appeals to teens, most of whom will not even be able to see it (until some bootlegger is selling it in the Times Square subway station next week).Read more about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Wedding Crashers.