The Unseen Movie Review: Aeon Flux

A job, a wife, a baby and no free time. I haven’t seen the films but based on what I’ve heard and know, we’ll see if the movie is worth it. It’s the UNSEEN MOVIE REVIEW.

It’s called Aeon Flux, but can you pronounce it properly? The new action sci-fi film stars the lovely Charlize Theron (can you pronounce that name correctly?), and by lovely I mean really hot stop drooling have trouble standing up in public lovely. Charlize is a pretty smart actress, she got ugly to win an Oscar in a small indie and now she’s cashing in big time. I haven’t seen cashing in like this since Anna Nicole had sex with that old guy. Hey Charlize, you’re not the first to go this route so pay attention and do not follow in the career path of Nic Cage, otherwise you’ll be making Gone in 60 Seconds: The Deuce. It’s such a simple idea, win an Oscar then turn that into a real money making career. Indie films are great but they don’t pay rent. Actually they don’t pay rent or buy swimming pools, guest houses, screening rooms, and a mansion with more bathrooms than bedrooms. Who needs more bathrooms than bedrooms? I guess people who like to pee more than sleep.

The film looks pretty cool, and the stunts and sets look great. Is the source material too inside? The only people who really know about the Aeon Flux cartoon are the hardcore sci-fi geeks who used to watch the cartoon on MTV and wondered why they couldn’t meet women assassins on J-Date. Casting Charlize was a stroke of genius, but now the whole film rests on her shoulders. Is she ready for that? She needs to bring in the crowds who don’t know about Japanese animation in the same numbers that Pam Anderson introduces new boyfriends to her two sons. Halle tried to do this with Catwoman and the film was so bad she had nowhere to go with it, I’m hoping Charlize pulls it off because Hollywood needs a bankable female action star with great acting chops too.A site review later this week.Access media from 'Aeon Flux'.

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JTNov 30th, 2005 - 03:56:16

The movie isn't being screened for the press.

You know what that means...

It isn't good news.

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ChauDec 3rd, 2005 - 07:57:38

This Review sucks ass. Why would i want to read your review on a movie you haven't seen yet. Wait till you see the movie, then give a review. Your review is worthless!.

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JoeDec 3rd, 2005 - 11:46:54

Chau,

I think you have missed the point...

Anyone seen this film yet?

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Johnny P.Dec 4th, 2005 - 02:32:52

You shouldn't start your review by adimiting that you can't even pronounce the title. For those of us that can, we know that the movie is not going to live up to the animated series, the strength of which hinged upon the utter oddity of its plot lines. The original plot lines for the series were avant garde studies in abstraction. Hollywood is just not capable of that, a fact that has nothing to do with who plays the lead role.

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BJDMay 16th, 2006 - 10:53:04

Æon Flux is not Japanese Animation. Peter Chung(the creator) is a Korean-American, and the series was debuted on MTV. The series appeals to more than sci fi geeks.

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