London Calling

And here we go with another edition of London Calling. In fact it is not just another edition but a double edition. Now I don’t know if any of you guys realized but there was a distinct lack of an update last week. Maybe the three people who DO read this column wondered why that was so I shall offer a brief explanation.Well by last Wednesday I had still received the grand total of nada e-mails and so decided to wait until Friday before proceeding to shout at each and every single one of you. However Friday brought two things to my life: One) an unexpected e-mail for a screening at the very last minute and Two) a chance to go to The Lost Vagueness Summer Spectacular Festival in Sussex. I took both options and abandoned the lot of you. Now I know some of you might find this irresponsible but hey, no one writes to me so who gives a two-bit dime?L.V. by the way was absolutely brilliant and I do believe I intend to go back next year. The bands were awesome, the girls were exceedingly pretty and on top of that my friends are superb people who always manage to have fun regardless the situation. So a big thank you to Baris, Annaleis and Hamlet who were the architects of my wondrous weekend.Now before I am exposed for the fraud, I must tell you that I received to e-mails this week. I would like personally thank both Maureen Lipman and Lizi Emery for writing to me. Lizi keep reading for a review of what you have asked for.Last week we had quite a few good releases. First there was Crash which everyone seemed to adore. To be honest I did think Crash was a solid film with a good and intelligent script however I could not shake off the feeling that something was amiss. I sat through it just slightly uncomfortable; feeling as if the film in front of me was a kid yearning to be loved and I just could not do it.Then we had The Island. Once again I will not waste space, breath or time on this film. All I am saying is: Thiefs! Frauds! Conman! PARTS: CLONUS HORROR. Find it and you will know.For me the movie of the week was Secret Lives Of Dentists. Now Secret Lives Of Dentists is not a new film. Yet it took such a long time reaching these grey shores that it was only released last week.This is one of those subtle, gentle films that astound you at every turn. The performances are terrific: Campbell Scott is on a steady course to become one the only modern actor who never stops astounding me. I was in love with his everyman scientist in The Spanish Prisoner, in Roger Dodger he was so assured as the desperate man about town who had to hide his loser face and now to this list he adds the cuckolded husband whose inability to confront his wife’s infidelity brings him to the brink of insanity.Secret Lives Of Dentists is a carefully layered film which shows a clever touch at every turn. Although the film is told from the perspective of David Hurts; Campbell Scott’s characters, his wife’s feelings, their isolation from each other, the loneliness she has to fight at every turn is also beautifully and sufficiently expressed.Without revealing anymore, I would just like to advise every single one of you to see this film. It is not every day we get adult films dealing with adult relationships and it is not every day that the characters get to act as real human beings: angry, wrong, prejudiced but ultimately vulnerable. Oh yeah and Denis Leary rocks my world.Fever Pitch sucks. I haven’t yet seen Spirit Trap but judging by the conversation I heard between two very distinguished critics during Secret Lives Of Dentist’s Screening, it also is very, very bad. Awful, in fact.

Now on to upcoming movies for this week.We have this week actually, miraculously not one but two good movies. TWO. HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE THE LORD. And to count the effects and lest we forget who the world belongs to we have a Jet Lee flick. Oh and BEWITCHED.Shall I do the good films first? Hell, no. First we get through the stuff I have to SIT and WATCH.Like Unleashed. What can I say about Unleashed? What comment can I possible make that won’t be completely discardable? It…Is…A…Jet…Lee…Flick. They fight. They fight a lot. (Well actually less than the usual hullabaloo) Bob Hoskins does his bad guy thing. Morgan Freeman does his benevolent thing. Jet Lee falls in love. Oh boy it doesn’t get any better. I wish someone would hire me because I can write this stuff. Exactly the same stuff, Isn’t anyone else bored? Gah…goodbye and goodnightBewitched on the other hand is actually an abomination. Yep, checked the bible and the testaments, consulted the dead sea scrolls and turns out this is one of those signs that the anti-Christ is going to use to announce his coming. (one of the other ones I know is tom cruise) Who green lighted this ‘film’? See I use the film generously here, assuming that anything committed on celluloid counts as a film. For me I’d rather have my eye lids sewn shut so I never see this again. Ever. Or better let’s melt the director’s eyes so she never goes behind a camera. Unless it’s the Helen Keller story.Some of you might still enjoy it though. I just looked at the reviews on IMDB and other external reviews. Turns out maybe it’s me. Oh well it must be the ‘functioning’ alcoholic side of me which just does not understand the meaning of fun.

Now the good stuff. Yippee. And all that clap trap.
Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Watch Primer. Got that?I am not revealing anything. I am not mentioning anything: no plot points, no acting, nothing. I am only going to tell you that Primer is one of the most astounding, wonderful, dumb founding, confusing and ; and this is the most important part; intelligent movies that I had fortune of seeing the last say one, two, five years.It’s a great film. A brilliant film. A film which at first confuses you, then runs away from you and finally reveals everything so quickly that you must go back. You just must.Please see it. Let’s all support it. Look if you hate it write to me. Tell me what you hate. And I’ll tell you why I think it is just head and shoulders above everything I have seen for a while. Don’t see bewitched or unleashed. Keep your money. Go and see this. You might leave the cinema feeling so buzzed by the simple genius of the whole affair. The only thing is you will not be feeling giddy with the frothiness of the damn thing. It’s not a date movie. (Unless you are dating a girl with mad tastes. In which case has she got a sister? Is she single? May I have her number? A double date perhaps?)Ok and time for number two now: the second rather fabulous film of this week is Me And You And Everyone We Know.Let me first make it clear that in no way is this film as good as Primer. It’s a quirky film , yes, peculiar and quite humorous. It’s also a very differently rythmed movie, one which takes a little time getting used to. At first things feel a little strange, slightly askew but as the character take hold and you start to feel the beat of the whole thing, it changes the way it’ looking like a chameleon.This was the sleeper hit at this year’s major festival and I can see why. It shares many of the sensibilities of American Beauty and Magnolia and Lantana and even Secret Lives Of Dentists. It has the same desperate reach for human kindness, for human compassion. It even reminded me a little of Happiness with its’ quirky sense of laughs. But what I find most surprising, most astonishing about this movie is its’ focus on the most intimate of human senses: touch. Touch seems to dominate most of the characters in this movie; be it sleeping with a loved one or being good at blow jobs. Even the beginning of the film is characterized by the burning of the main character’s hand. His numbness from having to wear bandages throughout the movie is only remedied at the end when he finally lets Miranda July’s character Cristine Jeperson into his life. (oh a confession, I just realized it was Miranda July in the starring role…wow, because not only has she written an amazingly enjoyable movie but also she is sooooooo goddamn pretty…I wrote in my movie notes that the actresses has the most amazing, emotive eyes…so there you go…even I can be surprised)I know you think that you have seen enough angsty, middle lifey movies in recent history but do give Me And You And Everyone We Know a chance. It might catch you off-track.By the way one piece of gossip. When I was in the screening of the above mentioned movie, there were quite a few critics from national British papers. Two of these critics (one from a national paper and the other from a city specific one) proceeded to sleep and snore through the whole damn thing. That’s goddamn right, they slept and snored and the phone of one them went off before he went to sleep disturbing everyone. I really have nothing to say. Just goes to show really. So I can’t wait until tomorrow when they WILL write their respective reviews even though what they saw of the film was probably less than the trailer.And write. Write to me. Many times.
Sincerely Yours
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