Happiness in children not a simple issue

By Christiane Loell Nov 10, 2011, 3:06 GMT

Berlin - Child poverty, the rising divorce rate and pressure to perform at school are just a few of the aspects of life that mean it can no longer be taken for granted that a child will be happy. Parents and schools in Germany are working on methods to increase child wellbeing.

Some schools are even providing happiness courses for pupils and there are countless books that give advice to both parents and children on how to be happy.

However, adults and children do not share the same perception of what happiness is. Parents should also be careful that they don't add to the pressure their child is under by expecting them to be happy all the time.

'Perception of happiness is extremely subjective. A child can be happy performing a task that an adult could not relate to,' says Swiss educator and author Anton Bucher.

In 2007, Bucher published the findings of a survey he conducted of more than 1,200 children between the ages of 6 and 13. 'More than 80 per cent of the children described themselves as happy,' says Bucher. The survey identified friends, free time and recognition from parents as the most important elements of child happiness.

Sabine Andresen, an educator at Goethe University in Frankfurt, believes a healthy balance between welfare and autonomy is very important for a child's happiness.

'Children want to be cared for,' says Andresen. 'That's why they need an adult who will be there to look after them.' But in other areas of their lives, children want to make decisions on their own such as what to do in their free time.

Caring for a child does not mean avoiding conflict, Andresen says. She believes it's important to quarrel once in a while in order to make it clear what the parents' wishes are. Most parents try to avoid bickering because they're afraid their child will feel bad if they do.

'We need to work against the superficial thinking about what child wellbeing is. Children cannot laugh all the time. Being happy for a child does not mean being in a good mood all day long and that they are never sad,' she says. Many of the learning steps a child has to take in life are connected with conflict, such as breaking the nappy habit or eating healthy food.

Bucher believes happiness is about experiencing contrasts. After a sad experience humans are apt to have a more intense feeling of happiness. 'When parents say their child must always be happy, then it's possible to describe that as enforced happiness,' says Bucher.

In 2007, the Willy Hellpach vocational school in Heidelberg in south-west Germany began teaching happiness as one of its courses. The school's director, Ernst Fritz-Schubert, has written several books on the subject.

'A happy upbringing is not about turning a child or a teenager into a happiness-hunter who is always on the look out for the next kick and how to maximize the next moment of joy,' he wrote.

In another book he provides this insight: 'We are not helping our children when we remove every barrier in their way.' In Fritz-Schubert's opinion, a person is happy when they learn to master a difficult situation in life.