Which finger was that again? Marriage, European style

By Ben Nimmo Aug 31, 2010, 10:41 GMT

Brussels - 'Wrong hand!' There are more embarrassing things that your bride could hiss as you try and slip the wedding ring onto her finger, but not many.

The tricky truth is that, in Europe, there are as many different wedding traditions as there are countries, if not more. That makes the 'biggest day of your life' a potential pitfall for anyone planning to marry someone from a different European state.

Take the wedding ring. In Britain, the tradition is to wear it on the fourth finger of the left hand; explanations include the argument that the left hand is 'nearer the heart,' and that Britain's largely right-handed population wants to avoid scratching the ring.

But in Eastern states from Latvia to Greece, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand, seen as the hand which signals a 'right' moral and religious attitude.

This has been known to lead to confusion not only in wedding ceremonies, but also in the night-clubs of Riga, as Latvian and British customers tactfully try and work out whether their opposite number is actually single.

'Is that a wedding ring there, or ...?' one diplomatic variant on the theme runs.

But working out which hand to put the ring on is only the start. For the happy couple marrying across country and culture borders, a host of national customs awaits to shock the unwary.

In Denmark, for example, tradition holds that, after the wedding breakfast, the groom's friends should grab him, pull off his shoes and cut the ends off his socks - to make sure that he cannot sneak out to a lover later that night.

In Greece, meanwhile, tradition mandates that the bride's family should 'dress' the wedding bed before the ceremony, strewing it with money, sweets and rose petals as a sign of good luck, and even rolling babies on it to encourage fertility.

In the Russian-speaking world, tradition mandates that the groom should carry his bride over seven bridges after the ceremony, apparently in reference to the stages of life that they will then go through together.

Another tradition says that they should chain a padlock to a bridge and throw the key into the water, to guarantee their eternal bond to one another.

Either way, those who plan to marry a Russian should a) pick a city with enough bridges and b) marry someone light, since even the toughest groom is likely to start fading by bridge number five.

Yet another Russian tradition says that the wedding guests should shout 'Goryka' (literally, 'bitter!') at random moments throughout the ceremony, and especially when the groom is making his speech.

As the shout goes up, bride and groom have to drop whatever they are doing and kiss one another, to take the 'bitterness' away from one another's lips.

And many cultures dress up bride and groom after the ceremony to prepare them for their 'future roles' in life. Grooms would traditionally receive slippers, a pipe, a beer mug or (in more modern households) a TV remote control, while a wife might receive an apron.

But Latvia, at least, leaves room to redress the gender balance. The happy couple can also expect to be handed a bowl full of beans, with coins hidden inside.

On the count of three they rummage inside, and whichever partner pulls out more money will rule the family finances. Those wishing to dominate the domestic scene would be well advised to practise first.

If this European kaleidoscope chills the reader's heart, there is still hope in one Swedish superstition, however.

According to Swedes, if your slice of wedding cake falls over as it is served, you will never get married at all.