First impressions count; appearance must match personality

By Eva Neumann Dec 28, 2006, 3:41 GMT

Munich - Every time people make a new acquaintance be it at a job interview, in primary school, parents' night or at dinner with a new partner's family - first impressions determine whether people consider each other likeable.

That's food for thought before beginning to accentuate one's strengths.

'More than half of a first impression is affected by appearance - clothes, make-up, body language, gestures and facial expressions,' said Mahena Stief, a business psychologist in Munich. But it often makes a difference who the counterpart is.

'I'm certain that when men judge women, appearance plays a greater role than when women judge other women,' said Lydia Maier, chairwoman of a Munich-based association of German colour and style advisers.

With the help of a mirror, a good girlfriend and preferably a good guy friend, one's own appearance can be thoroughly evaluated. Some important questions are: 'What effect do I have on you? Why is that so? Do I want to have one effect or something completely different?'

The first place to look is in the closet.

'Good clothes are not contingent upon how much was spent on them. What's important is that the clothes are neat, fit well and match the personality of the person wearing them,' said Maier. Depending on the occasion, choose a timeless, discreet or stylish outfit for an introduction.

'Overall, the importance of fashion has increased in recent years,' said professor Gerhard Amendt, director of an institute that conducts gender and generation research at the University of Bremen in Germany. He sees a danger, however, that the personality of a woman could be lost behind a fashionable facade.

After looking in the closet, next comes cosmetics. Among friends and family it's OK to go without make-up, but at work a light touch of make-up is desirable.

'I know from large companies and banks that they reject applicants who don't wear make-up,' said Maier.

Women must decide what clothes and make-up fit them best. A frilly blouse looks out of place on a sporty woman. Luminous make-up seems unreasonable on a reserved person. Two important questions to ask when making these decisions are, 'How do I view my personality and how can I emphasize my attributes?' Personal friends can be good advisers.

Apart from a favourite saleswoman in a clothing store or a hairdresser, a professional colour and style adviser can provide further assistance.

'She can sharpen the focus, give tips and boost self assurance,' said Stief. 'But the advice shouldn't be taken as dogma. The deciding factor is always whether the woman feels comfortable.'

Well-being and inner stability are reflected in body language such as good posture, open expression, smooth movements and contribute to a positive appearance. People who are comfortable with themselves towards others appear balanced and stable.

'You can do a lot for your own well-being,' said Stief. 'It begins with clearing away major dissatisfactory things in your life.'

If quarrels with one's partner are everyday, Stief advises deliberately steering around them by putting on your favourite music or enjoying a cup of tea. Physical well-being also plays a role. Relaxation exercises, yoga or training promote balance. Exercising also helps people look healthy and energetic.

Expressive body language and gestures, appealing facial expressions and communications skills can be learned by attending management seminars or adult education courses. No one becomes a perfect talk master through these means, but they help people recognize how others interpret their demeanour.

'A considerable factor in appearance is self-confidence,' said Amendt. 'Only those people who are sure of themselves, who know their own strengths and are convinced of them, come across as self- confident and convincing.'

At the professional level, targeted coaching can be a help, but if someone generally has difficulty appearing in front of others, making contacts and communicating, 'it can't be corrected by coaching within four weeks,' he said.

In that case the cause of the problem, an inferiority complex, for example, has to be sought out and treated, perhaps with help from a psychotherapist.