Hollywood: Crimes and Misdemeanors – Charlie Sheen

On December 25th while most families were celebrating Christmas and opening presents, Charlie Sheen allegedly pinned his wife Brooke Mueller down, held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her.  Not exactly the holiday spirit, it seems more appropriate as a Groundhog Day celebration than a Christmas one.  And why fly the whole family out to Aspen, Colorado only to ruin it with a knife to the throat of your spouse?


Fast forward to February 8th when Charlie appeared in court and was charged with felony menacing, third degree assault and criminal mischief.  What is criminal mischief?  Is that like pulling giving someone a wedgie with hot sauce.  Now some of you are reading this and saying “That’s not funny, Mr. Sheen has a history of violence (he accidentally shot then fiancée Kelly Preston) and he held a knife to his wife’s throat (allegedly)”.  Then there are others who are reading this and saying, “That’s just not funny”.  I think it’s partly ok to laugh at this situation if only because as soon as Charlie was charged in court he turned to hug and kiss his wife.  This is where Scooby pops up and yells “Zoinks?”  It seems Brooke had forgotten all about the 911 call and the Christmas day knife and according to her lawyer, Yale Galanter, she has asked the prosecution to drop the case.  The part about this whole situation that is not the least bit funny is that these two people, Charlie and Brooke, are the parents and caregivers of two twin sons born in march 2009.


After the Christmas Day events, the judge ordered Charlie to stay away from his wife.  He was allowed to visit Brooke in the hospital in January when she went in for surgery for impacted wisdom teeth but fell ill due to a blood borne infection and had 105 degree fever and pneumonia.  So aside from that visit, the Sheens have been separated but wanting to get back together to work on their marriage and their family.


CBS, the network that airs Sheen’s hit show Two and a Half Men has declined to comment saying that this is a “personal situation”.  That’s network talk for “He stars in a hit show on our network, we’re not dumb enough to say anything that will screw that up”.  There was some backlash to Charlie’s Xmas Day shenanigans (or what Phil Spector refers to as party tricks), Hanes has dropped him as a spokesman for their underwear.  This does seem like the right thing for Hanes to do, the bigger question is why they thought Charlie Sheen would be an appropriate celebrity to sell their product in the first place.


The outcome of Charlie’s charges is still up in the air.  Brooke is still pushing for the charges to be dropped but he could get up to 3 years in prison.  The Sheens flew back to California together and will supposedly begin fixing their marriage (and hopefully putting away all loose knives and cutlery lying around the house).  I do hope they fix their problems, I also hope that they have a lot of nannies and that those nannies never let those twin babies out of their sight.

Note the date on this article may be incorrect due to importing it from our old system.