Halo-branded Xbox 360? Check. Halo gaming chair ? Check. Limited Edition Halo figurines? Check. Halo Xbox Live headset? Check. Halo replica Covenant Energy Sword ? Check. Halo sneakers by Adidas…?
Adidas releases 100 pairs of limited edition Halo sneakers. Credit: Adidas.
Yes, just when you thought you were the ultimate Halo geek, just when you thought there was nothing else that Bungie could whore its first-person behemoth onto, up prances Germany’s favourite three-striped sporting brand with a truly, truly hideous addition to the growing catalogue of Halo merchandise disasters.
A picture is worth a thousand words and, in this case, if we were pushed to submit a thousand-word news article then the vast majority of them would begin with ‘f’ and end with ‘ucking ugly.’
Branded with futuristic Halo styling, embossed weapon imagery, and near vomit-inducing Velcro toe straps (presumably to hold on to while Adidas, Microsoft and Bungie take turns shafting the wearer), these blue monstrosities thankfully fall into the ‘strictly limited’ category of Halo cash-ins, with Adidas only having produced a mere 100 pairs.
Eeeeeew! Credit: Geekologie
Sadly these Halo-inspired Adidas Gil II Zeros don’t come with anything other than their ‘badselves,’ offering up no cheesy certificate of Halo loserdom or a lifetime’s membership to the Halo Celibacy Society.
However, rumour has it that they do come with a complementary organ donor card because, let’s face it, clamping these things to your feet anywhere other than in front of a mammoth LCD television playing host to Halo is likely to see the wearer given an unceremonious beating by complete strangers at every street corner.
By the way, did we mention that we don’t like them? Check.
Genuinely shameless Halo fans can brawl for the privilege of owning a pair of Adidas Halo sneaks from February 08.
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