DVD Reviews

Guns, Girls and Gambling – Blu-ray Review

By Jeff Swindoll Jan 10, 2013, 15:05 GMT

Academy Awardr nominee Gary Oldman, Christian Slater, and Dane Cook headline this outrageous action-comedy about greed, revenge, and a desert full of dead Elvis impersonators. A priceless Apache war mask has been stolen from an Indian casino causing criminals, frat boys, tomahawk-wielding hit men, modern-day cowboys, and a six-foot-tall blonde assassin to rampage through a small town in hopes of claiming the treasure first. Guns, Girls and Gambling is an ...more

“Elvis died on the toilet.  Again.”

The film may be rife with Elvis impersonators, but we also find somebody trying to impersonate Quentin Tarantino.  The project may have attracted a game cast, featuring a hot blonde, but the results are not the fried peanut butter and banana sammich you may wanted. 

John Smith (Christian Slater) finds himself at an Indian casino run by the Chief (Gordon Tootoosis).  If there’s one thing the Chief loves more than Elvis it’s his ancient tribal mask.  The casino is running an Elvis impersonation contest which Smith places dead last in. 

Elvis Elvis (Gary Oldman) triumphs over Gay Elvis (Chris Kattan), Asian Elvis (Anthony Brandon Wong) and Midg… I mean Little Person Elvis (Tony Cox).  When Smith awakens the next day after a game of cards with the Elvises, again finding him on the bottom, the Chief’s mask has been stolen and Smith is the chief suspect of the Chief.

The Chief’s rival the Rancher (Powers Boothe) instructs Smith to find the mask and bring it to him.  He’s joined on the hunt by Cindy (Megan Park) but is pursued by a shapely Blonde (Helena Mattsson) assassin, the Cowboy (Jeff Fahey), the Indian (Matthew Willig), and corrupt Sheriffs Cook (Dane Cook) and Crowley (Sam Trammell).  All of them after the mask and more than happy to try and kill Smith. 

Guns Girls and Gambling takes many “inspirations” from earlier and quirkier caper films.  The results are less than inspiring but may entertain if it catches you after a six pack or two.  Michael Caine once said of Jaws: the Revenge that you have to remember that the script for that stinker and his tax bill hit the desk at the same time. 

I hope that Gary Oldman invested his pay wisely or it paid off whatever bill hit his desk at the same time.  The characters don’t really have names and are known as their monikers for the most part, each given a freeze frame with that name flashed up on the screen. 

It seems a lazy way to give each archetype little character development and its as lazy as the screenplay that borrows from better films. 

None of the comedy works as well as it should and it all has the air of a TV movie, especially the poorly realized CGI casino.  For some reason this dreck did attract a known cast (maybe Oldman’s name helped) but the result is best left unfound. 

Guns Girls and Gambling is presented in a 1080p transfer (1.85:1).  There are no special features save for previews of other Universal films.

Don’t let the hot Blonde draw you in…. I warned you if you do.  She may be very easy on the eyes but the film that she is in ain’t good.  I also found her constant quoting of Edgar Allan Poe silly as well, though hot blonds tend to get away with such things.  The movie can’t get away with much as the film drags like a 500 pound Elvis impersonator. 

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