Anaconda 3: The Offspring – DVD Review

By Jeff Swindoll Oct 20, 2008, 15:23 GMT

Coil up on the couch and prepare yourself for more action, more danger and more snakes! The giant anacondas are back in the next chapter in the thrilling series, starring David Hasselhoff as Hammett, the ruthless mercenary and snake slayer. In a secret research facility, two mega snakes are undergoing testing by a brilliant scientist, Amanda (Crystal Allen). But when the financier, Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies), pushes the experiments too far, ...more

David Hasselhoff takes some time away from judging who’s got talent to take on some giant snakes.  It may be closer to his day job than he might imagine - since these filmmakers don’t have much talent.

Billionaire Mr. Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) has been funding some experiments involving anacondas and the blood orchid.  The scientists have found that the orchid has the ability to slow the aging process, however it’s toxic to humans but the serpents eat it up.  To try and understand the anaconda’s ability to consume this precious plant they’ve genetically engineered them to gargantuan proportions (never a good idea). 

Herpetologist Amanda (Crystal Allen) warns Mr. Murdoch that the snakes are growing at an alarming rate but since Mr. Murdoch is funding the research because he’s dying her warnings fall on deaf ears.  The slimy beasties do end up breaking out of their cages (they always do in these flicks) and to make matters even better they’re male and female and the lady is in a family way. 

Great white hunter Hammett (David Hasselhoff) is called in to capture them, but the team has to find them before momma gives birth and dozens of little critters go looking for something to eat.  

Romania is substituted for both American and the Amazon in this tepid sequel to the original.  When Hammett is hunting down an anaconda for Murdoch in the beginning of the film the forest looks suspiciously unlike the Amazon (definitely nothing like the pics they use on the front of the box).  They might get a little more slack when they supposedly switch to America but it’s obvious that it’s really Romania or some European location because of the locals, automobiles, and architecture.

This film and a fourth sequel (coming soon) were shot for the Sci-Fi Channel as well as being shot back to back.  Makes me think that the budget was cut in half because of the dual filming as well. 

The snake effects are rather poor and the acting of the lead, Crystal Allen, is pretty much the same.  The Hoff is the Hoff and Rhys-Davies snarls through his villain role in cookie cutter fashion.

The whole film is from the same “nature gone amok by mad scientists” cookie cutter too.  That it aired on the Sci-Fi Channel should come as no surprise.

Anaconda 3 is presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions.  Special features include a collection of trailers for other Sony discs, including a very nondescript one for Anaconda 4: Trail of Blood.  

Sadly, I already used the “one word review – hiss” gag for my review of Vipers but Anaconda 3 definitely fits the bill.  Vipers had the fortune of being a stand alone snake on the rampage flick where Anaconda is a cheap reiteration of a bigger budgeted franchise.  They could’ve been retitled and they would’ve fit more in with the level of product that usually airs on the Sci-Fi Channel.  

Anaconda 3: The Offspring is now available at Amazon. As of yet, there is not a release date for the UK. Visit the DVD database for more information.