You Don't Mess With the Zohan (Unrated) - Blu-ray Review

“Are you a fagala?”

The film may look fantastic on Blu-ray but it tends to drag on and wear out its welcome. If they’d cut it down it might’ve been better, but there are some giggles. I guess I messed with the Zohan. Zohan (Adam Sandler) is an Israeli special agent that always gets his man. The Phantom (John Turturro) is his arch nemesis. During a battle with him, Zohan fakes his death and heads for America.

It seems that Zohan has an obsession with wanting to be a hairdresser and he has to go underground to do it. He adopts the name Scrappy Coco and attempts to get a job at the Paul Mitchell salon. Not having a place to stay, Zohan helps out a bike messenger named Michael (Nick Swardson) and stays with Michael and his mother Gail (Lainie Kazan). Michael isn’t exactly thrilled when he catches Gail and Scrappy getting sticky. Zohan meets up with a fellow Israeli named Uri (Ido Mosseri) who tells him that he should try to get on at the salon across from his electronics store. Dhalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), the owner of the salon, hires on Zohan to sweep up but she finally relents to let him style the customers. The elderly clientele starts frequenting the shop for Zohan’s special sexual services, but he’s recognized by cab driver named Salim (Rob Schneider) who wants him dead. Zohan discovers that he’s falling in love with Dhalia, but a shifty developer wants the neighborhood and hires some hillbilly thugs to get the Palestinian and Israeli side the streets to go to war against each other. Adam Sandler adds another nutty character to his resume with the Zohan. He adopts a wacky accent with several Israeli “isms” thrown in for good measure, that and a bowl of hummus.

The storyline seems ironic until you hear that it’s based on reality as three brothers who were also Israeli soldiers came to America and opened two hair salons – who knew? The problem is that the film has a habit of stretching things out too long. Unidentified flying oddball Dennis Dugan returns to Sandler’s corner to handle the directorial chores and should’ve shaved a good half hour off the film. At nearly two hours the show just doesn’t have a choice but to run out of steam in the second half. I’m not one to get into political correctness, but probably a lot of folks are going to be offended by the ethnic jokes and making light of the Israeli-Arab conflict. However, it’s “can’t we all just get along” storyline might be something that people in the region might need to think about. The film is presented in both a theatrical version and an uncut version that adds about five minutes more of footage. You Don’t Want to Mess with the Zohan is presented in a 1080p high definition transfer (1.85:1). Special features include a commentary with Sandler, co-screenwriter Robert Smigel, Rob Schneider, and Nick Swardson. A second track has director Dennis Dugan going solo. The Blu-ray exclusive feature is a pop-up track that translates the Zohan’s Israeli slang speak.

The majority of the special features are in high definition; in fact I didn’t see any standard definition stuff unless it’s some of the previews. There’s a large number of featurettes. The 9 minute “Look Who Stopped By” is about all the cameos that are in the film. The 7 minute “Dugan: The Hands on Director” is about the man behind the camera. The 10 minute “Stunts of Zohan” is about egg salad sandwiches or it could’ve been about the stunts. The 4 minute “Dugan Espanol” has the director being a cunning linguist when the film shot in Baja, California. The 4 minute “Zohan versus the Phantom” profiles the two characters. The 7 minute “Zohan’s Doubles” covers all of the stuntmen that did the various stunts for Sandler; you didn’t think he did it all did you? The 6 minute “Shooting Baja for Tel Aviv” is about the location substitution. The 4 minute “All-American Redneck” profiles Dave Matthews who plays the leader of the hillbilly thugs. The 9 minute “From Guns to Scissors” is about the camaraderie between the actors. Next are 7 minutes of “News on 3” segments which are fake news reports. The 4 minute “The Robot” is a comedic interview with a robot that was in the film for a bit. The 5 minute “Getting Sticky” interviews all the bikini clad babes from the beach scenes and the 6 minute “Laughing is Contagious” is a blooper reel. Next are 12 minutes of delete scenes and previews of other Sony discs. The Zohan could’ve been better if it had been edited down some, at nearly two hours it’s too long. There are some giggles here and there as well as some irony about the conflicts of the region, but in the end the Zohan runs out of steam. The picture does look fantastic on Blu-ray. The Zohan isn’t exactly a mess, but it comes close in the second half.