DVD Reviews

DVD Review: Son of the Dragon

By Adnan Tezer Oct 9, 2007, 14:48 GMT

I’m aware that there are those out there with these people around them called FAMILIES. Occasionally these people like to watch films together. These films are usually nice, safe, non threatening and simplistic to say the least.

Needless to say I have little to no use for these types of films. Very often they are the reason why film has become the opiate for the masses. These films are watered down, insultingly bad and are two to three hour excuses to check your brain at the door or the living room and be cinematically drugged. This goes against everything that I believe film should be. But that’s just me and what the hell do I know?

Son of the Dragon, originally aired in 2006 as a TV miniseries, is a great example of such a film. The premise, a retelling of Arabian Nights set in late 19th /early 20th century Shanghai, China seems promising but that promise evaporates within the first five minutes. D.B. (John Reardon) was abandoned as a child and left on the docks of Shanghai only to be rescued and raised by the warrior Bird (David Carradine). Bird becomes his mentor and father figure as the years go by and as the film opens, D.B. is a Robin Hood type that steals from the corrupt Shanghai tax collectors and gives the money back to the poor. Bird implores D.B. to get a real job but D.B. enjoys the thrills that go with being a thief. D.B. has his eyes on stealing the royal court’s jewels and goes about it by posing as a fake suitor for the princess Li Wei (Desiree Siahaan).

Anyone want to bet that he falls in love with her for real and gets “his heart stolen?” The princess’s father finds D.B. to be unsuitable as a potential husband for his daughter. So he comes up with series of nearly impossible tests to weed out the unworthy of the suitors. One of those unworthy and our resident villain would be the Prince of the North (Rupert Graves). He wants the princess so he can consolidate his power and be a tyrant. So, if can you believe this; there is a grand battle at the end between Bird and D.B. versus the evil Prince of the North.

This is one of those films that is so insulting to one’s intelligence, if you have half a brain; you start getting upset within 20 minutes. This is the grand type of movie world where despite the fact that this is supposed to be Shanghai, China in late 19th /early 20th century (the movie doesn’t even feel it necessary to specify) EVERYONE speaks perfect modern English not say…Chinese. Before I completely rip this film for what it is let me give it one complement: the set design is impressive and it must have cost a fortune.

Then, good Christ, you have the acting. David Carradine at least tries to do something with his sage role of Bird. Get this…Bird was once a fierce warrior who now advocates peace and non-violence. Anyone want to take odds that he picks up a sword at the end? Anyone want to take an over /under on how many sage-like sayings he spits out on a regular basis like “The problem will create a solution?” But even he seems bored at times and beaten down.

I want to know what the producers of this were smoking when they hired John Reardon as D.B. Not only his acting beyond laughable but he has a California surfer type accent and attitude that I’m sure fit in just fine in Shanghai, China. Of course he’s the “wild, bad boy” type that can’t be tamed until he meets the beautiful princess. Of course he has stupid, modern day one liners that are tired attempts at humor. About the only person involved that actually does SOME decent acting is Rupert Graves.

The suspension of disbelief involved here is something akin to being an imbecile. D.B. and Bird are able to BLUFF their way into the royal court by posing as the Prince of the Seven Seas even though he has NO IDEA what he’s talking about. That also applies to the tired fight scenes that rip off Crouching Tiger, Hidden Tiger yet again. You have people gliding through the air at random points of the film, so naturally I thought I could do that as well. You also have what has to be the dumbest fight scene ever involving D.B. and a soldier ON A FLYING CARPET.

The action scenes are mostly bloodless and no one dies until the end although I’m sure the producers tried to figure out a way so that no one did. Because we all know Chinese warriors and samurai never killed anyone, they just fought until someone knocked their head on a wooden post.Clocking in at 176 minutes, that’s nearly three hours, I defy ANYONE with ANY TASTE whatsoever so make it through this entire film. Because once you do, you will NEVER GET THOSE THREE HOURS BACK IN YOUR LIFE. Not even all the booze in Ireland or opium in China could make this bearable and believe me; I tried.

For those of you who can’t get enough, rejoice, you have some extras. In addition to a theatrical trailer, you have the 9 ½ minute Epic Stories in a Fabled Land – The Making of Son of the Dragon and the Getting Candid with David Carradine, which runs a little under 11 minutes.

I suppose this will appeal to some families as there is nothing objectionable here. But please folks, I implore you….YOU CAN DO BETTER.

Son of the Dragon is now available at Amazon. As of yet, there is not a release date for the UK. Visit the DVD database for more information.