In a sane world, this quasi-sequel to the Seagal extravaganza ‘Half Past Dead’ would be known as ‘Three-quarters Dead: Almost Dead But Not Quite There Yet’ because let’s face it…what do the filmmakers have to lose? Alas, we’re stuck with the rather boring moniker of ‘Half Past Dead 2’ with nary even a much needed subtitle like ‘…: Past Deader’ – maybe for part three.
Of course, Seagal might have returned had you promised him a catchy title (by the way, note to self: whenever Seagal opts out of a straight to video title and then one has to watch said title…bring more liquor) but all is not lost as we have wrestling superstar (and his lesser-known status as the official Poet Laureate of Tulsa, OK) Bill Goldberg to take over the already flabby reins of the ‘Half Past Dead’ franchise along with rapper ‘Kurupt’ - who reprises his role from the original. And kudos to Kurupt for being able to pick up his character right where he left him in ‘Half Past Dead’ without losing little to none of the intricacies of his character, “Twitch.”
I doubt anyone checking out ‘Half Past Dead 2’ will be hoping for this year’s ‘Shawshank Redemption’ or anything resembling a cohesive narrative but here we go. A token introductory sequence tying the sequel to the original starts off in ‘New Alcatraz,’ sigh…as Twitch (Kurupt) purposely gets in a fight so Warden ‘El Fuego’ (Tony Plana returning from the original with a glorified cameo) will send him to Cranton (a tougher prison so we hear) in Missouri. Twitch wants this transfer as it will get him closer to the buried gold that was stashed away in the first film (yep, buried gold, it’s that kind of movie). This is all of minor importance throughout the film, though, as it’s basically just a meager excuse to justify calling this ‘Half Past Dead 2.’
Once in Cranton, we learn of two rival gangs, one a Latino group led by Cortez, and the other an African-American group led by Angel. Wait a minute! I want my stereotype white redneck gang too, dammit! Twitch is courted by both gangs (uhh, wouldn’t be it silly for Twitch to be the only black guy in an all-Latino gang?) but Twitch wants to remain his own man. Tragedy occurs when Cortez takes out Angel in the cafeteria and the blame falls on poor, befallen, innocent Burke (Bill Goldberg) a big teddy bear of a man who wants nothing more than to coast safely through his prison term so he can cuddle with his daughter. The murder results in a huge riot where Cortez plans to make his escape. Helping matters along, he comes across Burke’s daughter Ellie and Twitches’ fiancée Cherise, who were both there visiting their respective loved ones, and promptly takes them hostage.
Burke and Twitch hear the good news and team up to save their beloveds with the best comedy pairing since Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro in ‘Showtime.’ So as it goes, the dynamic duo make their through the rioting wreaking nice-guy havoc to whoever stands in the way and I find out…a six-pack didn’t quite cover it.
To be sure, Bill Goldberg is an imposing physical specimen and would make a competent B-movie action star with the right vehicle and maybe just a touch of acting lessons. But he’s pretty much chained down in this film as an all-around good guy and caring father, meaning there’s lots of safe fisticuffs but nothing really nasty or gritty to grab a hold of. Mediocre choreography of the action has Burke belting out a few punches and finishing off with a signature, and in the context of the film, ridiculous wrestling move. These scenes are okay but play out in the lower end of the enjoyable action spectrum.
The budget had obvious limitations that meant the camera pulled away or cut to something else when violence occurred that would need special f/x – never a good thing in an R-rated action flick. Taking place on one prison set, the film’s action mostly consists of Goldberg and the punching and there’s not a whole lot of that. There’s limited gunplay, no big stunts or diving out of the way of explosions, just Goldberg…punching. Kurupt makes for a tolerable sidekick, however, and is mildly entertaining.
The film is presented in 1.78:1 widescreen and is enhanced for widescreen televisions. A handful of previews make up the whole of the extras.
The film is not a complete waste despite the above review. Goldberg makes for entertaining carnage - even within this film’s limitations. If you you’re a fan of Goldberg, I guess you could do worse than watching Goldberg punching heads for an hour and a half – like watching Goldberg in ‘Universal Soldier 2.’
Half Past Dead 2 is now available at Amazon . As of yet, there is not a release date for the UK. Visit the DVD database for more information.
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