Sometimes it’s best in life to go into certain situations with low expectations. These situations could include but are not limited to a first job interview, a first date, whether or not you should buy said date that next shot of bourbon and ANY direct to DVD film staring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren and Johnathan Schaech.
That being said, while these are not the types of films whose demographic I fall in, I must admit that while I can’t recommend Jean-Claude Van Damme’s latest straight to the bin flick Until Death, I did appreciate the ambition behind it and it what it ultimately tries to do, even if it fails miserably.
You know that a film’s got problems when its own marketing distributor gets the hero’s name wrong on the back cover of the case. Hard to believe, but Van Damme is listed as Anthony LOWE on the back flap while his name in the film is STOWE. But that’s beside the point. The plot upon first glance is actually intriguing for a B-movie such as this. Stowe (Van Damme) is a burnt out New Orleans cop who has a serious drinking/heroin problem and is obsessed with hunting down his former partner Callahan (Stephen Rea) who has become the new drug kingpin in town. A potential bust at the beginning goes bad (of course) cops are killed, money and drugs disappear and surveillance tapes are nowhere to be found.
Van Damme is naturally blamed for the incident and blows it off by doing what all us guys do in such stressful situations; he goes to a local bar, gets hammered and then back doors a prostitute on a pool table. This leads to one of the many classic lines of the film delivered by said hooker who upon Van Damme’s departure post coitus screams out “I don’t care if you’re a fucking cop. You’re not a fucking human being.” This was by far my favorite scene in the film. It gets better.
Our junkie hero then meets up with his estranged wife Valerie (Selina Giles) and gets more good news: she’s pregnant with another guy’s kid. Not only that, but his car is getting towed. Wouldn’t it be a glorious world if we could just beat the hell out of the tow truck drivers like our hero does and drunkenly speed off? I suppose this is as good a time as any for Stowe to score some heroin on the street and shoot up in his car so why not? As you can imagine, Stowe doesn’t have many friends on or off the force. He does have a hot female bartender friend that’s useful for setting him up for an ambush in an all night coffee shop.
I’ll admit the shootout that follows is well shot but all rationale goes out the window when Stowe is cornered by Callahan, then shot point blank in the face by one of his thugs. Suspense killing you yet? Of course he lives. The good doctor explains to us how a man can get shot in his lower jaw, have the bullet destroy his naval cavities, lodge in his upper skull yet still live. Even better, he’s able to dig the bullet out within seconds to give to the police as evidence. What a world. Of course Stowe has to go through a coma, which is sped up by a ridiculous montage of Callahan blowing away random people to assume control of the drug trade. Then, miraculously, Stowe wakes up. There actually is a good inside joke referencing Aliens if anyone can catch it when an orderly notices our hero has opened his eyes.
Our hero has a long recovery process ahead of him so, naturally, his soon to be ex-wife (who mind you is pregnant and living with the father of the kid) is forced to take him in as an invalid. Within minutes he’s walking and talking thanks to a pistol packing hospice nurse (that was a nice touch) that scares away a would-be assassin. Also, he’s not a junkie or an alcoholic anymore. This film might put A.A. and N.A. out of business.
Naturally, Stowe has learned the error of his ways and realizes that he still loves his wife and vice versa. Just when he’s about to tell his wife not to leave him, that dammed Callahan pops in again and, dagnabbit, goes and kidnaps his wife and shoots Stowe’s only friend, a teenage informant who JUST HAPPENS to know where the bad guys are, in the head. Unfortunately, the bullet doesn’t go through his jaw. Apparently convenient bullet trajectory does not apply to all here. This leads to the climactic overdrawn shootout that would make even John Woo shake his head in embarrassment.
The back of the box advertises this as “Van Damme at his best.” What makes me cringe is that it’s dead accurate. This is the best performance Van Damme has ever given. Let that sink in for a moment. In all honesty, you can see him TRYING REALLY HARD TO ACT, so I’ll cut him some slack. He does indeed look like a strung out junkie at the beginning so at least the makeup people did their job. You would think that, given Van Damme’s real-life substance abuse problems, that this role would provide him with the best chance to tap into any real acting talent and he does have some quiet, sad moments particularly at the beginning as he stumbles through the shambles that his life has become. He’ll never be confused with DeNiro or Brando but he does try admirably here and you do eventually root for him.
What I want to know is what the producers had on Stephen Rea that made him do this film. He looks and acts so bored and uninterested it seems like he is reading off of cue cards for most of the film. That is until the end when Rea goes hilariously over-the-top. The film is almost worth watching just to hear him say “medulla oblongata.” I was shocked when I saw his name on the credits; this is an OSCAR NOMINEE mind you. I need to watch The Crying Game now to remind myself that this man is actually a superb actor.
This must have been a necessary, quick paycheck for him. By the time you figure out what is really behind the Stowe/Callahan relationship, you don’t even care anymore. That brings me to perhaps one of the worst performances I’ve seen from an actress in recent years, that being Selina Giles as Stowe’s estranged wife. She powers down EVERY scene she’s in with a complete lack of emotion or impact. Just about every line of dialogue that comes out of her mouth seems awkward and forced.
The director Simon Fellows, who also directed Van Damme in the instant classic Second in Command, seems to have watched Tony Scott’s Man on Fire too many times. The actions scenes are tight for the most part but he feels the need to superimpose flashing images a la Scott that after a while become more and more annoying. Anyone ever hear of less is more? To his credit, he does try to focus more on the human drama rather than the action but in order for that to work, you need capable actors to pull it off.
Sony obviously knew it had a winner here as it has included a few trailers and ZERO extras. Even Roadhouse 2 had a Behind the Scenes featurette. As I said earlier, I had no expectations when this hit my doorstep so in a way I could say I was somewhat surprised. In another way, I could also say that I kept wondering throughout the film how much better it could’ve been had the script been cleaned up and a better leading man/supporting cast were involved.
What’s worse, except for the sex scene in the bar at the beginning, there’s not even any gratuitous and unnecessary female nudity. Don’t think I didn’t take points off for that glaring omission. I don’t know about anybody else but I don’t like my filth this clean. In the end, this film will be buried somewhere in a video store near you, soon to be for sale for $5.99, maybe even this week. Perhaps I would’ve liked it more if I wasn’t sober.
Until Death is now available at Amazon . As of yet, there is not a release date for the UK. Visit the DVD database for more information.
(In case you’re wondering the one star is for the fact that I didn’t completely feel robbed of an hour and forty one minutes of my valuable time…the other half is for Jean Claude’s effort)
HilariousApr 26th, 2007 - 18:36:13
That was a funny read...king of like Joe Bob Briggs...I think i'll look for it just so I can get a few of the laughs
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