Upon first glance, there are probably few movies less deserving of the now all too common special edition treatment then Road House. After careful consideration of the evidence and a six-pack with a fifth of Jack Daniels, I now see the genius behind it. Released in 1989 and earning on $30 million at the box office, Road House has become a modern-day cult sensation in the years following its release on video, and has steadily built up steam as the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. The film is a true testament to cheesy, over-the-top 80s cinema (Ted Turner is obviously a fan since his TBS/TNT networks shows Road House at least once a week).
For those who haven’t heard of Road House, the plot goes like this: Patrick Swayze and his mullet star as Dalton, the best “cooler” in the bar business. For those of you not up on bar terminology, a “cooler” is the head of the bouncers; the one who watches over the bar and makes the call on when a situation must be dealt with.
Dalton is obviously different from your usual bouncer: he owns a Mercedes; he has a Ph.D. in philosophy from New York University; is a martial artist; practices Tai Chi; stitches up his own wounds; reads Jim Harrison on nice quiet evenings; chain smokes; likes his coffee black; and sleeps in the nude so that everyone (including female stalkers) can have early morning access to his ass. He also hears someone say every five minutes that they “thought he’d be bigger.” Dalton, no first name just Dalton, is hired by a bar owner (Kevin Tighe) to clean up his bar the ‘Double Deuce’ in Jasper, Missouri. This is no easy task, mind you for the Deuce is “the type of place where they sweep up the eyeballs after closing.”
After waltzing in the Deuce and observing the chaos firsthand, Dalton gets to work. He weeds out the overly aggressive bouncers and drug dealing waitresses that he doesn’t want and lays down his three point plan on how to be a good bouncer: 1. Never underestimate your opponent - expect the unexpected; 2. Take it outside - never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary; and 3. most importantly, be nice - that is, until it’s time to not be nice. Not to fear, for Dalton will let you know when that time has come. Good to see that college degree paying off big dividends. Much like Robocop’s prime directives, there is a fourth rule here but it is not revealed until later.
Dalton rents a room at a farm that just happens to overlook the estate of the main villain - that being one Brad Wesley (Ben Gazarra.) Wesley is a corrupt local businessman who runs the town and shakes down the local businesses. Those businesses, and for that matter the Jasper economy, seem to consist of the Double Deuce, an auto parts store, and 2 auto dealerships. Coincidentally, Wesley seems to have the only mansion in town. He also has really cool late night sex parties, is fond of monster trucks, beating up his own henchmen, and has a trophy room filled with hundreds of animals, including polar bears, that could be found in National Geographic and your local tropical forest.
It’s important to note that director Rowdy Herrington (what other name could direct this?) DELIBERATELY chose to have the protagonist and antagonist live across the river from each other. Not only do they happen to be the only houses in Jasper, but also much of what goes on is staged so that the other can CLEARLY see what is happening. You’re starting to get the picture. Common sense goes bye-bye now.
In no time at all, Dalton is ruffling Wesley’s feathers by firing his boys from the Deuce, going to outside liquor suppliers, continually beating the crap out of his incompetent men, and having eyes for Wesley’s love, Doc (a HOT Kelly Lynch.) Doc, by the way, just happens to be a doctor. She’s into getting her back slammed against a brick wall during sex, having sex on balconies and in lakes, not getting any sleep before going into work, and generally looking good enough to eat at ALL TIMES. Her name is supposedly Elizabeth but she goes by Doc.
After receiving a knife wound at the Deuce, Dalton goes to the hospital and meets Doc who staples his wound. Dalton is so polite he even brings his own medical file with him so as to cut down on time. He woos Doc with such deep musings as “Nobody wins a fight” and “Pain don’t hurt” - which he delivers with all ‘80s seriousness after he turns down a local anesthetic. What chick wouldn’t be drawn to a guy like this? After one coffee date, they are screwing to Otis Redding and doing it on the roof of Dalton’s pad, all under the watchful eye of Wesley. If all women were this easy, there would be no war in this world and no poverty. But, I digress. The stakes are raised as Dalton clearly represents a threat to Wesley and his rule over Jasper.
In rides the aging, but still great bouncer Wade Garrett (a perfectly cast Sam Elliott) on a motorcycle to help his buddy Dalton. Obi Wan, er Wade, taught Dalton all he knows about being a cooler. There is some deep male bonding (SURPRISE: Dalton’s got some emotional scars and a haunted past that needs healing) and Wade’isms that make you ponder your existence like “I’ll get all the sleep I need when I’m dead” and, referring to Doc “That gal’s got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.”
After another brawl at the Deuce where Dalton and Wade tag team to beat on Wesley’s men, Wesley decides it’s time for drastic measures. He has his main thug Jimmy (Marshall Teague) blow up, not the farm where Dalton lives, but the farmhouse of the guy who rents Dalton his room. This sets up the spectacularly choreographed fight sequence between the two bad asses where not only do you get to hear the bad guy spout off with “Prepare to Die” and the immortal pick-up line “I used to f**k guys like you in prison” but you finally learn of Dalton’s hidden fourth rule to being a good bouncer: NEVER rip out a guy’s throat and toss it in the lake unless you’re getting your ass kicked in a fight. Once again, Wesley is watching from across the river. Needless to say, the body count rises slightly more before the ultimate showdown between Wesley and Dalton - that demonstrates that the only good Mercedes is one that explodes in mid air.
No one can resist Swayze and his mullet
Nothing needs to be said about the merits and Oscar worthiness of the writing. There are bar fights, hot chicks, rock and roll, and explosions at every turn. You won’t be bored, that’s for sure. The fight scenes (and there are plenty of them) are in a class of their own in terms of authenticity and enjoyment. Swayze and his mullet (who were at their career peak here after the success of Dirty Dancing) IS Dalton. It’s not the same as saying you can’t picture anyone else but Brando playing Don Vito Corleone, but there’s no one else who could’ve played Dalton.
In true Swayze fashion, he establishes Dalton, much like his Bodie in Point Break (another Swazye guilty pleasure) as an iconic presence and a man’s man, capable of, as the movie’s tagline says “bustin heads and breakin hearts.” For all of you women out there, don’t worry about the old Hollywood standard of gratuitous female nudity in a film like this. Yes, thank God there is some T & A, BUT you get even more gratuitous shots of Swayze’s greased up ass and chest. For a tough, macho film like this, there is a small, subtle hint of homoeroticism that runs throughout.
Ben Gazzara, who obviously tired of doing Cassavetes films, has a lot of fun playing the sadistic Wesley and lends the film some class. Kelly Lynch (who does have a good chemistry with Swayze) is basically window dressing here, but what dressing it is. She would show later that year in Drugstore Cowboy that she was capable of great acting in a serious film. Although seen too briefly here, Sam Elliott provides the film with much of its heart and soul, and gives the scenes with he and Swayze real poignancy. When you see good male bonding onscreen, it’s a beautiful thing.
The extras, with one glaring exception, are the real treat here. There’s a 17 minute featurette “On the Road House” that features interviews with Swayze, Lynch, director Herrington, Jeff Healey (who provides classic rock covers throughout the film,) Benny “The Jet” Urquidez (the six-time World Kickboxing Champion who trained Swayze for his fight scenes, and Marshall Teague (who has the ultimate deathmatch with Swayze). All involved clearly had fun making the picture, and to their credit, they make fun of it and themselves. They never pretended to be making Gone With the Wind but take pride in the movie’s strange lasting power, cult classic status, and the appeal of Swayze’s mullet.
There’s a hilarious 12 minute segment called “What would Dalton Do?” where real-life bouncers talk about their experiences and comment on what Dalton would do in everyday bar emergencies. There’s a brief sneak peek at the direct-to-DVD sequel Road House 2, and a brilliant, hilarious trivia track that scrolls across the bottom of the film. For those of you like myself, who long for the days of VH1’s Pop-Up Video, this trivia track is for you. Special thanks to the trivia track writers for informing me on what constitutes a felony and misdemeanor in Missouri.
Skip the incredibly drab, monotonous, boring commentary by director Rowdy Herrington. The real gem here is the hilarious commentary by director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Chasing Amy) and producer Scott Mosier. Much like an MST3000 viewing, the two poke fun at the film’s logic, the Swayze canon of films, the film’s homoerotic elements, what would happen if Dalton, Wade, and Doc had a three-way, and intersperse important Dalton facts/legends throughout. This is worth the purchase alone. There are also previews of other Sony releases included.
One has to give credit to all involved with the film - not once do you ever get the feeling that they are trying to lull the art crowd into their corner. This is an unashamedly stupid, logic defying, testosterone driven, yet hilarious B-movie that presents itself as a modern day western. Of course with names like Dalton, Wade Garrett, Brad Wesley, Emmitt, and Doc - the western motif is made clear. Road House is a movie that, early on, leaves all common sense and believability so far in the rearview mirror that it is impossible to take seriously. You’ll laugh more in this film than in most comedies. It doesn’t make many demands mentally and can easily be filtered out as you watch it. It does, however remain immensely watchable.
Road House – Deluxe Edition is now available at Amazon . As of yet, there is not a release date for the UK. Visit the DVD database for more information.
Your Talkback on this Story