Posted by April MacIntyre
Nov 1, 2010, 0:31 GMT
Dear Charlie,
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller-Sheen - alas no more © PRN / PR Photos
Are you really going to check out in the hackiest, most clichéd Hollywood way? Planning on drowning in your own vomit (many have beaten you, you're no trailblazer) or having a massive coronary from the blow? Maybe a stroke or just go the barbiturate way and stop your heart and lungs from working?
Which one will it be?
Did the shaming of being one of Heidi Fleiss's customers with predilections for cheerleader-costumed hookers not last long enough for you?
Most people had forgotten about that escandalo years ago, and heck, you managed to nab a lucrative role on a hot Chuck Lorre comedy on CBS. Not that I'm a fan of the show, but you are an impressive earner, and you have a great comedic sense in so many films. PLUS you can pull off dramatic stuff too.
You need to get your butt in the pews at Our Lady of Malibu. Seriously, a Catholic tinged hard-core intervention is what the doctor ordered.
Stare at the Holy Mother in the grotto up behind the altar and give things a think. Reports
Hope so, you're immensely talented and regardless of the stupid stuff you do, most everyone likes you.
You stole hearts in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and you should be sitting in the audience at "Dancing with the Stars" cheering your old friend Jennifer Grey on. Patrick Swayze is dead, and he would have cut off his right foot to be there for her; but you're too busy being indulgent.
So, from a die hard fan, please get better Charlie, and stick with the Estevez's, because the Sheen part of you is kicking your ass, and it's time to make a big change.
See you at the 5 o'clock Saturday mass.
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