Bill Maher ‘New Rules’ Segment For HBO’s Real Sports VIDEO

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TV rewind: Our favorite political pundit and comic Bill Maher (host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher”) debuted his “New Rules” for Real Sports on Tuesday’s February premiere of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.

Below are excerpts from the segment:

PIN HEADS

“New Rule: If bowling passes for high school athletics, then maybe it is time for a draft. That’s right, bowling, an activity that requires rolling a ball without spilling your beer, is America’s fastest-growing high school sport. ‘Congratulations, dude, you just lettered in f**king off.’ Although on the upside, there’s nothing like polyester pants and a Banlon shirt to help a guy honor his abstinence pledge.”

SKATEBOARDING

“New Rule: If you play a video game where you imagine skateboarding, there’s something wrong with your soul. Why not actually do it? It’s skateboarding. It requires a skateboard and a slant. Playing a videogame of skateboarding is like watching a porno of touching yourself.”